Do You Keep the Promises You Make to Yourself?

Have you ever set yourself a goal, such as losing weight or doing more exercise, and after a few days things start to slip and you end up back to square one?

The most popular time for this is to happen is New Years! With a little over indulgence during the festive season, it is popular to set ‘new years resolutions’, but how long do they usually last for and why is it that we just can’t stick to the things we promise ourselves?

I have certainly done it and you may be able to relate to this. One morning I will say I will go to the gym and avoid the sweet treats, but the end of the day arrives and I haven’t been to the gym, and I gave into temptation and ate that piece of cake in the afternoon! I reach the end of the day feeling a little helpless and guilty because I broke the promises I made to myself. And doing this on a daily basis really can impact confidence and motivation.

So let’s use an example of losing weight. You may have an ideal weight in mind, or it may be that you want to be able to get back into your favourite jeans which no longer fit! You know this is not going to happen overnight, realistically it could be a few months at least. So how are you going to get there?

Setting boundaries is a great place to start. What do you need to do to reach your goal? It may be that you decide to cut out the sweet treats all together switching them for nutritious food, and commit to 30 minutes exercise a day for the next 60 days. But how do you avoid the temptations and drag yourself up each day to do your exercise?

Well neuroscientists have found that our brain is wired to constantly search for rewards. What you class as a reward may be different to me, but some examples could be treat foods, alcohol, or smoking. It can even come from what we see as harmless tasks such as checking social media and seeing someone ‘likes’ your post.

When we get this ‘reward’, our brain releases dopamine. This is a chemical messenger I have talked about previously, which allows us to experience pleasure and makes us feel good. But did you know that rather than searching externally for rewards all the time, which are often not beneficial to our health and cause us to go off track from our goals, we can actually build an internal reward system? This means you can really take control of your progress and your life!

And the good thing is, that it’s quite simple and doesn’t cost anything! All you need to do is acknowledge and remind yourself that you are on the right track. And like building a muscle in the gym, you need to develop and build this on a daily basis.

So your goal and end destination may seem to be in the horizon and impossible to reach, but why not focus on one day at a time? If your goal was to eat healthy food, choose a glass of water over a glass of wine, and move for 30 minutes, and you reach the end of day 1 having accomplished this, give yourself some credit and praise yourself for your effort!

To really solidify it, why not write the tasks you have to do in a notebook or calendar and tick them off each day once completed, writing ‘Day 1 Won’ next to it?! And then the next day arrives, and you do the same again, despite having been to a party surrounded by cake and drink….and you get to the end of the day and you put, ‘Day 2 Won’, and so on. This daily acknowledgement will trigger the dopamine release, and provide that feeling of pleasure, but this time you are creating the feeling rather than having to experience it from the external rewards. Over time, you will start to feel a sense of pride and achievement, and your confidence will start to build because you are keeping the promise to yourself. You will also start to physically see the changes you were aiming for.

We can all achieve so much more than we realise. I know making changes in life really can be a struggle, and the first week or two will be the hardest, but if you take time each day to acknowledge and celebrate yourself for the positive steps you are taking, which may seem so small and insignificant at the time, you will build up great momentum and feel truly fulfilled.

You can use this for any area of your life, whether it be a new course you have started or new skill you are learning!

As I am writing this, I am in the midst of doing this myself, focusing on my diet and some key tasks I have set myself each day to personally move me forward, as I had veered off track slightly. It really is helping me, and I write this in the hope it may be of help to you.

You’ve got this.

Sarah